Meatballs, lovely meatballs

Think of Sweden and you may think of Swedish meatballs. Think of Swedish meatballs and you may think of IKEA. Let me tell you something. I'm Swedish and I have never in my life had meatballs at IKEA and I never will. Why? Because they serve them with trimmings I don't like. There is also a risk of the meatballs on the plate being the same ones they sell in their food shop, factory made. I don't know that for sure, but I'm not willing to take the risk. 

Why eat mass produced meatballs when they are so easy to make at home? Honestly, it is almost as easy as picking up a packet of ready made ones in the shop, especially if you add fighting with other customers in the ready-made isle at the supermarket.

In our home there are rules and some apply to the kitchen. Certain food items are not to be messed with. Burgers for instance... and meatballs. I therefore have to be very careful when making mince based delights and sometimes I get away with being sneaky. Sometimes I don't.

I grew up with Swedish meatballs, beautiful ones that mum lovingly made. Not only were they tasty, they also worked as a mood gauge. If they were small, she was in a good mood and happy to roll lots of little balls. If they were bigger, she was a bit grumpy and didn't want to spend too much time preparing dinner. If we had burgers, she was cross. She'd start with a big meatball, which was slammed between her hands and flattened with force. As kids, that's when we knew to stay clear of the kitchen.

Mum used a mixture between beef and pork. In our home we have an excess of venison and I mince the meat myself. Venison mince is very lean and it needs a little something to add moisture. My trick used to be to add finely grated carrot. It worked wonders, until one unfortunate day. That day I decided to make two different meals and divided the mince in half. I did however not halve the amount of carrot. Oh dear...

I still thought they tasted great, but I could eat carrots all day long. Have you ever watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? You know the oompa loompas? That day we had venison oompa loompas for dinner, small and orange. Since that day I have been banned from adding carrots to meatballs and I only do it when I know for sure I'm the only one eating them. The rule applies for burgers. No carrots in burgers and I try my best to leave them plain.

A while ago I came up with a sneaky meatball plan. Instead of grated carrot, I could use celeriac. It is white and much less likely to be discovered. A dollop of mustard disguises the flavour nicely. I am yet to try this batch for a family dinner to see if I can get away with them. Of all meatball varieties I have tried over the years, this celeriac & mustard combo is the nicest one so far. If I have capers at home, they are a beautiful addition when finely chopped.

When making meatballs, find your own favourite recipe. Be brave. Try different seasonings, add heat, make them plain, add grated roots, a slosh of wine if you please. One thing though... Many recipes says to add an egg. It is not necessary. I realised that when I had run out of eggs and still wanted to make meatballs. As a matter of fact, the absence of egg made no difference what so ever. The only thing you may want to adjust is the amount of breadcrumbs. The wetter the mince (especially if you add liquid of any kind), the more breadcrumbs. Alternatively, pop the mixture into the fridge to dry out if you don't want to use starch. Never forget the onion though. Dad made that mistake once and they turned into rubber balls. Not even the dog wanted them.

Here we go. This is my favourite recipe at the moment:

mince (I always make a big batch)

1 finely chopped onion per 500 g (ish)

breadcrumbs

grated celeriac

salt & pepper

paprika

oregano

a dollop of mustard (I used homemade)

1. Pop all ingredients into a bowl.

Mum used to say 'Salt until white, pepper until black, paprika until red, four spice until green'. (I use oregano instead of four spice.) Very scientific measuring for seasoning. This is where I learned to 'measure on a hip', a Swedish saying for adding as much as you want or using your eyes and experience to judge what's enough. This is how I cook most of the time, on a hip.

2. Mix it thoroughly. Ensure there are no lumps of any of the ingredients anywhere. Roll into balls. 

I like them small, only slightly bigger than the circle you get when letting the tip of your thumb and long finger meet.

3. Fry the meatballs in a little oil (or butter if you prefer that) in a frying pan. Roll them around to ensure they cook evenly.

4. If the pan gets too dry before the meatballs are ready and they start to stick, there is no need to add more oil or butter. Instead, pour in a little water, only enough to barely cover the bottom of the pan. Allow the meatballs to steam while continuing to cook. This will give them a beautiful colour and keep them juicy.

5. Cook until they are done.

Instead of waiting until the first load was ready to cook the rest of the meatballs, I used two frying pans. When they were almost cooked, I bunged them all into the same pan to finish off while I cleared up the kitchen. Yes, always clear up as much as you can before serving dinner.

6. If batch cooking, freeze the leftovers in portions. Very handy for when you need a meaty fix. 

I tend to dish up and put the leftovers away straight away, or there is a risk of knocking back another few when returning to the kitchen after dinner. That is not good for the waistline. If they are already boxed or bagged up, the risk of munching is minimal. 

7. Serve and enjoy.

I mentioned before that IKEA serve their meatballs with trimmings I don't like, such as boiled or mashed potatoes, lingonberry jam and a creamy brown sauce. No no no, not good. I do not like boiled potatoes (unless served with fish) and mashed potatoes need sausages, not meatballs. Lingonberry jam is naff and the sauce is better with a steak. Meatballs should be served with spaghetti, always, every time. Ketchup, sweet mustard and HP sauce to finish the meal off. Heavenly!