A curried cabbage mince experience

There was a pack of venison mince in the freezer and I really, really, really wanted to make meatballs. They do however have to be served with spaghetti, according to The Law, which must never be broken. We are currently on a health streak and spaghetti wouldn't be a great idea, as I tend to over eat. So, what to make instead?

As usual, I headed into the Pinterest jungle and found a recipe for curried cabbage mince. I love cabbage and stick it into all sorts of meals, whether it belongs there or not. This time it was one of the main features and I liked the idea of that. Curry is always good, so this sounded like a winner. 

The blurb sealed our dinner fate. I quote: 'Before you click away, I encourage you to think again because although Curried Cabbage Mince doesn't sound too appealing, it is actually a really tasty and easy recipe.' I didn't need much convincing and this was more than enough. Move aside, meatballs. Bring on the curried cabbage mince.

The ingredients were: olive oil, 1 onion, 500 g mince, 1 tbsp curry powder, 3 cups shredded cabbage, 1 chopped carrot, 3 cups chicken stock and 170 g dried egg noodles

Reading through the recipe, I quickly realised that there weren't enough vegetables, so I decided to add an extra carrot, a bunch of chestnut mushrooms, a pepper and 2/3 bag of spinach. To make it healthier, I swapped the egg noodles for rice noodles and finally I added an second kind of curry powder, garam masala.

Looking at the ingredients, I thought this meal had potential. However, I was greatly disappointed. In fact, so disappointed that I'm not even going to do share my final recipe, because I don't recommend anyone making this meal. How on earth could this be described as tasty? I would say that the original recipe was as tasty as a piece of paper. The person who loved it and posted it must be used to incredibly plain food. 

Because I don't necessarily only blog to share my kitchen successes, but all of my experiences, I will tell you what happened. 

After the initial excitement, there was some disappointment, followed by determination, frustration, swearing (yes, I'm sorry), hope, more frustration, harsh words and finally surrender to the idea of another non-great dinner. For the longest time, it tasted of nothing and at the end, it tasted of something although I'm not convinced it was for the better. Sadly we have half of it left, so we are 'enjoying' it again tomorrow. All I can hope is that the seasoning has married and mingled over night and miraculously transformed the meal.

Here we go...

Look at all of this. Doesn't it look good? Venison mince, an array of 

vegetables, noodles and curry powder, not to forget the stock cube. 

At this stage I was excited.

Chop chop chop!

Fry fry fry!

Seasoning was added. As you can see, I doubled the amount and used 1 tbsp (ish) each of both mild curry powder and garam masala. Why? Because the stated amount of curry powder in a recipe is never enough and I was also adding a lot to the dish. I don't know how much mince I had, but it was probably a bit more than 500 g, so it would need at least the double amount of seasoning, 

especially if the extra vegetables were taking into consideration as well.

Talking about mince, in it went. It was mixed well with the onion and 

mushrooms and left to cook until almost done.

Chop chop chop!

Time to add some colour to the brown stuff.

While the carrots and pepper were cooking, I shredded the savoy cabbage and gave the stalk to the dogs. They had heard the chopping and sat patiently behind me, waiting for their treat.

In it went. It was mixed in well with the mince and left to cook for a minute.

This was messy. The recipe said to break up the egg noodles before putting them in. 

I oped for rice noodles and as it happens, they don't behave well during the breaking 

procedure. I later on found dry noodle strands in my bra. Don't ask... 

Anyway, I also prepared the chicken stock.

Scary, scary! In all my years of cooking, I have never put dry noodles of any kind 

into a meat and vegetable mixture. What if I add too much or two little stock? 

What if it doesn't cook properly? What if it turns into a sloppy slop?

I attempted to push the dry noodles into the meat and vegetables, but they were having none of it. No no no, noodles stay on top. Oh well, let's see if the stock would make them behave. It did and I manage to mix everything properly as the noodles started to cook. As it happened, they cooked fine and it didn't end up a sloppy slop. This is when I did the first taste test. Oh dear! It tasted of nothing.

Time to get the heavy artillery out. No more messing around with mild curry powder. I often think medium is too hot, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. Paprika has saved many meals in the past and is standard in a rescue situation and so is garlic. Fenugreek, I don't even know what it is, but I have it. Why? Because it features in a few recipes and I always have to find a substitute or omit it. A while ago I found it while out shopping and grabbed a jar. Today a faint memory told me that it may work well in a curry and googling afterwards confirmed my theory.

As you can see, I used a fair amount of all four rescue spices. Taste test... Still nothing. 

What the... (insert your preferred swearword).

More of the same quartet. Taste test... Still almost nothing.

What the actual... (insert a stronger swearword of your choice).

At this point my other half entered the kitchen and asked when dinner was ready. I may have expressed my disappointment rather loudly, but finished off with determination of not only serving bland meals for the rest of our lives. He didn't really care, as long as dinner was ready soon.

Bring out the secret weapon, sweet chilli sauce! If sweet chilli doesn't work, nothing does.

Squiiiiiiiiirrrrrt!

At this point I decided not to do any more taste testing. I was hungry and had admitted defeat. Yesterday I cooked a naff fish meal, that tasted of nothing and I settled with the idea of another evening with a tasteless meal. Because I didn't have any other use for the spinach, I decided to add it anyway. It wasn't going to enhance the flavour, but it would add splashed of green.

Look at it! It looks fantastic, if I may say so myself. Colourful, juicy, healthy. 

If amazing flavour had a look, this would be it. Well, looks can be deceiving.

My bowl of curried cabbage mince was edible. It did actually taste of something in the end, although I'm not convinced the flavours complimented each other. There was some heat, probably from the medium curry powder. There was also a powdery texture, not great and most likely due to the sheer amount of spices that went into this dish. One positive thing though, it was filling. Would I make it again? Not in a million years. No no no, never again, but I will eat the leftovers tomorrow. 

Update - the following day: The spices did marry and mingle and although there was no miracle, it was a better meal today than yesterday. I almost enjoyed it. Almost, but not quite.